Wrapped Around My Fingers

i’m supposed to be working, obviously.

no matter, i’ll just forget about sleeping tonight. i shall stay up studying for my advertising test tomorrow, fine tune my layouts, and get started on my research paper. it’s just sleep, after all. i used to think sleeping was such a waste, you know? like, here i am; wasting away eight to twelves hours daily just sleeping, when i could be accomplishing things.

today, your wish must have come true.

it happened like this:

i was in class, RES1100. my internet was down, as is the norm during miss C’s class. instead of heading out for a smoke break, i stayed in and fiddled around with my newly formatted windows 7. when i right-clicked on my desktop, i discovered gadgets! i could paste a clock on my display, or add sticky notes, or … hey, look. slide show. of pictures. as in, its a slide show of all the pictures i have in my laptop which admittedly i haven’t seen in a while.

a whole bulk of them were of you and me;

genting. pool party. midvalley.

clubbing at changkat, subang, heritage. being tattoo-ed. laughing, among friends.

i stared, transfixed. for the life of me, i could not tear my eyes away. one of my friends hit me at the back of my head. “close it, su ann.” the pictures changed, kept changing every five seconds. there we were, at werner’s. i was drunk in the shot, and you weren’t looking at the camera. flip: J’s pool party during new year’s. my eyes were bright, shining, red — burning with the expectations of things to come; your arms were around me. flip: barbeque. flip: us in the car. flip. flip. flip.

finally, i re-gained control of my fingers and clicked on the little “X” button.

i heard about you and her, the girl i used to know. the girl who got drunk with me over wine at this really lame birthday party; we shared clothes, shoes and traded pieces of our pasts. the girl i slept over at her place for, because she told me she was suicidal. the girl i spent lazy weekends shopping and smoking by the pool with, out all night at all hours. remember her?

remember she screwed the other brother?

congratulations :)

…

today,

was a really good day. PR went fine; we took our own 40-minutes break. lunch at AC was hilarious … then i met up with some people i’ve missed for quite a while. he always manages to look better than the last time, what a dick :) … skipped the first part of research class because i was with jo, afters. i’m nearly done with my advertisement layouts, too.

next: study for test.

things are different now. Better. i am so much happier; i’ve come a long way since. when i say your name, it doesn’t hurt anymore. i don’t think about what could have been, because nothing would have been. maybe i should count myself lucky — four years sound better than five, six, seven years. i’m stronger.

oh, my draft; the assignment is titled “Self-Advertisement.”

and on this note, i leave you.

goodnight.

:)